Pffff New CEO for Alcatel Doesn’t Speak French
Wednesday November 29th 2006, 8:43 pm
Filed under: language,news,weird

From Sign on San Diego:

When Patricia Russo takes the helm of newly-merged telecoms gear groups Alcatel SA and Lucent Technologies Inc. on Friday, she will be the only woman and the only American to head a company in France’s CAC-40 index of blue chips.But what is creating more of a stir in some conservative business circles is a statement from the 54-year-old native of New Jersey that she doesn’t plan to learn French…

Read the full article

205 Ways to Say “Penis” in French
Wednesday November 29th 2006, 5:29 am
Filed under: daily life,language
bitte d'amarrage

You may think this is a totally useless list of words to know in French, but I say it could be extremely handy to know. For example, if you knew these words, you’d get the photo above. AND, you’d understand why many French women will not sit on these. How useful is that?! So, without further ado, I give you “penis” in 205 French words. One of my favorites is le doigt qui n’a pas d’ongle / the finger without a nail.

* le pénis
* le phallus
* le sexe
* la verge
* la mentule (francisation littéraire et désuète du latin mentula)
* le vit (littéraire désuet, utilisé dans les chansons paillardes et les contrepèteries)
* Le guillery: (vieux français)

Slang Expressions:
* L’andouillette (région de Troyes)
* L’arrache patate ( seulement au Québec )
* La banane
* le bangala
* Le Bat (prononcer batte) ( seulement au Québec )
* La belette
* Le Bazar ( Belgique )
* le bazouka
* le bâton de berger
* le bâton de manioc
* le barreau de chaise
* le beignet (Catalogne, rapport au beignet catalan)
* la between
* la bichouette
* la biloute (Nord-Pas de Calais)
* la biroute (Nord-Pas de Calais)
* la bistouquette
* la bite ou bitte
* la bitoune
* la bizoune
* la boutifarre (seulement en Catalogne, désigne le boudin Catalan)
* le bras de Vénus (rapport au gâteau du même nom faisant référence à la Vénus de Milo)
* le braque
* le braquemard ou braquemart
* le bras de vitesse ( seulement au Québec )
* le cabot
* le calibre 12
* le chauve à col roulé
* le chibre
* le chichi (entre autres dans la région du tonnerois)
* la chienne ( seulement au Québec )
* le chinois
* la chose
* le cigare
* le colosse
* la Crochue
* le dard
* le démonte-pneus
* didine
* la douille ( seulement au Québec )
* le doigt qui n’a pas d’ongle
* l’engin
* la flamberge
* la flûte
* le fourniment
* la frétille
* la frétillette
* la graine ( seulement au Québec )
* le grand chauve à col roulé
* le grand chauve poilu
* le gourdin
* la guiche
* la guitare
* l’instrument
* la juste sèche ( rapport à la marque de saucisson éponyme )
* le jésus
* le kiki ou quiqui
* le levier
* la machine
* la mailloche ( seulement au Québec )
* le manche
* le manche à couilles
* le mandrin
* la manguise
* le mât
* la matraque
* le méné ( seulement au Québec et pour désigner la verge d’un enfant )
* le membre
* mérinos
* le moineau
* le moine ( seulement au Québec )
* Le Mono-Couille
* M. l’aspergeur
* Nadon
* le nem
* le nœud (désigne surtout le gland)
* la nouille
* le paf
* le pen ( seulement au Québec )
* le pelo
* le pénible
* le p’tit gaston
* le perchoir à condor
* le petit oiseau
* le pieu
* la pine
* la poilue
* le poisson
* polduk
* la pompe à plaisir
* popaul ou popol
* la poutre
* la quéquette
* la queue
* la rabistouquette (en Bretagne)
* Le ramoneur
* Le robinet d’amour
* la rousquille (Catalogne, rapport au biscuit local du même nom)
* La saucisse
* Le saucisson
* sarse
* sbab
* sboub
* le shaft ( seulement au Québec )
* Le Schafft ( seulement à Lutry )
* Le spaghetti
* tebine
* la teub (verlan de bite)
* La trique
* la trompe
* le tiche ( en belgique )
* le tube
* le vié ( déformation de “vit”)
* la virgule
* le vermiceau
* la vermicelle
* la Wanoune ( seulement à Saint-Monique (Québec))
* le Wipi (nievre)
* le z’boub
* le zeb
* la zézette
* le z’guègue
* le zigomar
* la zigounette
* la zize
* le zizi
* la zizouille
* le zizou
* le zob
* le zobi (pluriel : zèbi)
* Le foufonau
Vulgar expressions:
* avoir l’andouillette qui bave (région de Troyes) (vulgaire)
* le bazooka
* l’asperge : sucer une asperge = faire une fellation
* la baguette magique
* la balayette : “dans le cul la balayette” (vulgaire)
* Dresser les couleurs = être en érection
* Emmener Popaul au cirque = avoir une relation sexuelle
* étrangler le borgne = se masturber
* (se) battre les couilles en neige = se masturber (Région de Liège)
* Charles-le-Chauve
* le (grand) chauve à col roulé
* le cigare à moustache
* le chêne : rapport au sirop d’érable (sperme) et au gland
* le triple décimètre ou le double décimètre
* s’astiquer le chinois = se masturber
* la colonne : se taper (sur) la colonne = se masturber
* le colosse : je vais aller faire pleurer le colosse = je vais uriner
* le cyclope : moucher le cyclope = se masturber
* l’élastique : tirer sur l’élastique = se masturber
* faire « pleurer » (ou « baver ») Georges = uriner
* jack n’a qu’un œil
* le jambon : avoir le jambon qui transpire dans le torchon (le slip)
* junior+
* la flûte : jouer de la flûte = fellation
* la gaule (avoir la.)=être en érection
* la lance d’amour
* le manche : s’astiquer le manche = se masturber
* le manche à couilles
* le membre viril
* le membre turgescent
* le missile : s’astiquer le missile = se masturber
* le monstre : faire pleurer le monstre = uriner
* la nouille : égoutter la nouille = aller uriner
* tremper sa nouille : avoir une relation sexuelle
* tremper son biscuit(-sa biscotte)= avoir une relation sexuelle
* le petit Jésus : mettre le petit Jésus dans la crêche = avoir une relation sexuelle
* le petit oiseau
* le petit soldat
* aller changer l’eau des oliviers = uriner
* le paquet : avoir les bonbons qui collent au paquet
* le pingouin : cirer le pingouin = se masturber
* le poireau : se palucher le poireau = se masturber ; faire dégorger le poireau = éjaculer ; se secouer le poireau = se masturber ; glouglouter le poireau = faire une fellation ; s’astiquer le poireau = se masturber ; se faire tutoyer le poireau = se faire faire une fellation ; se faire taquiner le poireau = se faire faire une fellation
* le pompier
* pomper (ou se faire.)= faire une fellation
* Le piquet : dresser le piquet de tente = être en érection
* le robinet
* le saxophone à moustache
* le service trois pièces
* le soldat : le soldat est au garde à vous = en érection
* le sucre d’orge
* le tube à jus d’homme
* Le trois-pièces cuisine
* faire un aller-retour sur la veine bleue = faire une fellation
* Mini-me
* se faire faire un changement d’huile ( seulement au Québec )
* Se graisser le salami = se masturber
* la coquette
* se faire beurrer la tartine = se faire faire une fellation
* Se faire pogner la poche (seulement par un Paré)
* Changer son poisson d’eau = aller uriner
* Se poignarder comme un chien = se masturber
* Sous le plus grand chapiteau du monde = être en érection dans son lit (rapport à l’émission éponyme)
* Avoir le dur
* La veuve poignet = se masturber
* Tremper le biscuit = avoir une relation sexuelle
* Tremper le croissant = avoir une relation sexuelle
* Polir le mât = se masturber
* se saucer le pinceau

[via wikipedia]

Don’t Do As They Do – Too Late.
Tuesday November 28th 2006, 12:28 am
Filed under: cultural differences,daily life,weird
don't stand so close to me

Elisabeth from As My World Turns once blogged about the cultural differences between the U.S. and France and invited outside comments to add to her lists of likes and dislikes. I think I’d mentioned that I hated that the personal bubble space in France is WAY TOO SMALL compared to the U.S. and so I often feel like my space is being invaded when standing in line and people are literally just a few inches away. I swear I can sometimes feel their body heat. This is particularly annoying if the invader has b.o.

Another peeve is the staring games. One is the “once over” look when someone gives you a disapproving long glance appraisal from top to bottom, then back to top, THEN a slow blink. I don’t think it’s necessarily disapproving; it just looks like they’re disgusted. (Ok, perhaps they did find me disgusting, I have no idea.) In any case, I don’t really care if they are repulsed but it does get on my nerves when they do that. Anyway, this is something I get mostly in Paris compared to other parts of France. The other staring game is when people are relatively unashamed to stare. I sometimes would watch my French inlaws stare at people.

In the U.S. people will look at you but if there’s eye contact, both parties look away. That is the unspoken rule. In France, if eye contact happens, I’ve found that then it launches a real staring contest. I lose the contest, usually, and feel uncomfortable about the whole thing.

I just got back from the U.S. and I guess I’ve transformed entirely because two things happened while there:

1) I was standing in line at the supermarket Pavillions, and while I was waiting, the person in front of me kept turning around to look at me. Several times. I thought maybe she might have recognized me from somewhere like high school or somewhere. Then I realized that she was doing that because I was standing too close to her. She didn’t like it. OMG, I’m a space invader. (not the fun kind)

At least I don’t have b.o. (Or do I? You know, maybe people with b.o. do not know they have b.o. much like most insane people don’t know they’re insane?)

2) Another waiting in line situation except this time I was in a bank taking advantage of the weak dollar to exchange some euros. The line was long and wound back and forth disney ride style. I spaced out and was just standing, not really thinking about anything in particular when I hear a hostile, “What are you looking at?!!” Back to earth, I see a a belligerent bank client shooting me with angry eyes. Honestly, I had no idea I was staring. I’m like, “What?”

I have that staring disease I hate!

Gourdon, France
Monday November 27th 2006, 12:55 am
Filed under: lulu/dogs/cats,travel and places
gourdon france
  photo courtesy of Wikipedia

While it is another village amongst the most beautiful in France, one of our favorite things about it, is how it looks from afar, majestically perched nearly a kilometer above sea level. It’s not too shabby close up either, though.Also called, “The Eagle’s Nest,” Gourdon solidly sits atop a granite mountain with a bird’s eye view of the world, seemingly. Visit this quiet restored medieval village and get an unforgettable regal view of practically all of the Riviera. On a clear day, you’ll be able to see Cap Ferrat, Nice, Cagnes sur-mer (the Hippodrome is easy to spot), Antibes, Juan les Pins, the Lérins Islands, Cannes, Mandelieu-La Napoule, St Tropez, les Maures and l’Estérel.

gourdon france la porte

Only 12 kilometers/about 7 miles (northesast) of Grasse, try to make a day trip from one of the bigger towns nearby where you might be based. It’s a perfect place to pack a picnic and enjoy it near the gardens designed by the renowned Andre le Notre, which are around the Chateau de Gourdon. There’s a Medieval Museum at the Chateau as well as a Museum of Decorative Arts and you can also take a guided tour of the castle.

gourdon france tower

gourdon france lulu

gourdon france

Gourdon doesn’t disappoint the happy tourist with lots of euros in-hand looking for souvenirs. They’ll be able to find lots of: regional candies and sweets, baked goods, glass and earthenware pottery/ceramics, provençal fabrics, perfume, products with typical Provence designs, scented water, soaps, dolls, paintings, regional foods.

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Pass Go, Pick up the Garbage
Sunday November 26th 2006, 11:53 am
Filed under: news,paris,stories
garbage jobs paris

From NPR:

There are now so many people applying to be garbage collectors in Paris that the city council has instituted a written exam for applicants. The position offers a secure, relatively well-paid government job with full benefits and a pension at a time of high unemployment in France.NPR’s Eleanor Beardsley reports from Paris on the surprisingly coveted job of garbage collector in the City of Light.

Listen to the rest of the story