It all started chez Mr. Pott, the Potter. (Yes, that is his real name.) We were being led to the kiln where all his creations cook down to their glorious art forms. As we wandered along the winding path, a putrid cloud of fumes wafted toward me and overwhelmingly assaulted my nose. I was certain I was going to puke. It was nauseating. If you can imagine an effluvious melding rotten cat vomit with sewage after a 5-week long, city-wide bout of extreme irritable bowel syndrome, (aka The Runs) then that is what it smelled like.

Ahead of us, Mr. Pott turned around abruptly to warn us of the smell. “Thanks for the warning,” I said, as I repressed projectile vomiting a gag. He apologized and told us it was his purin d’orties. (nettles “manure” or fertilizer. It’s nettles soaked in rainwater.). I’d never heard about it. He mentioned that it not only was a natural insecticide that works but it was also a nutritious fertilizer “tea” for garden vegetables.

Upon further research, I found out that nettles is somewhat of universal super miracle ingredient being beneficial (even curative) to allergies and health problems, as well as serving as sort of a magical elixer in the garden. You can also cook it like spinach for a vitamin rich delish potage or other dish. There are undoubtedly endless uses for this undeservedly maligned weed.

I decided to try to make some purin d’orties too. Here’s my batch. It doesn’t stink yet as it needs to brew for a few more weeks. I’ll probably cover it when we start to smell something funky.

The shocking information that I stumbled on, however, was that selling purin d’orties is strictly prohibited in France. Um. You can’t sell water soaked in nettles? That is weird. In addition to that, it is now illegal to publish information on purin d’orties in France. But! It is ok to use purin d’orties that you make at home. (This proves that it is safe to use, but how the heck can you get info if it’s illegal to publish details about it??!) Strange Strange Strange. Not to mention RIDICULOUS. While we’re on the subject of ridiculousness, I also found out that it is illegal in France to publish that hot water kills weeds in alleys. I’m not kidding. It’s a good thing my blog lives on a U.S. server.

In any case, as we all know, evil takes on many forms. Evil can be ridiculous and quite often is, as we’re witness to today. Evil can look at you straight in the eye, lie with a smile and you wouldn’t even know it was lying. Evil can be a weed killer company, a pesticides/fertilizer company, a seed company. Maybe they’re all the same company?

As we might be able to surmise by now, there are only a few usual suspects responsible for this kind of heinous legislation: government (Le ministère de l’Agriculture) and the fertilizer industry (which includes the pharmaceutical, biotech, chemical, pesticides, seeds and GMO industries). And for good measure we might as well throw in the other evil industries: the oil industry, which is the same as the plastics industry and the food industry. They are all bad, bad, bad to the core. This is no exception. It looks as though the industry has lobbied the government (in other words: paid dubious amounts of cash to the agriculture minister and other officials) to pass this most subversive of laws for the benefit of the company whilst being detrimental to the earth and consumers. Anyway. As one of the most destructive industries, they are endangering the health of this planet, and its inhabitants. How much more unscrupulous and unethical can they get? I’m sure they’ll never fail to have something else up their sleeves.

Back to the case of nettles. Nettles fertilizer is so effective that it’s probably better than anything you can buy at the garden store. But it has so many more uses. How do people love nettles? Let them count the ways: 1) Dilute your nettles fertilizer “tea” and spray it on your plants for a safe insecticide that knows how to get rid of the bad bugs and keep the good ones (especially good for veggies like tomatoes); 2) If sprayed, it will also be a foliar fertilizer rich in iron, vitamin C, nitrogen, beta-carotene, B complex vitamins, phosphorous potassium, oligoelements, enzymes, chlorophyll, magnesium, calcium, silica, iodine, and amino acids. You can also enrich the soil by directly watering the ground around your plants; 3) The diluted fertilizer is known to stimulate your plants immune system, building their resilience to diseases and insects; 4) Undiluted nettles tea is a very impressive natural weed killer that will not harm your health, the soil or the environment; 4) Nettles leaves are also a great addition to the compost heap being rich in nitrogen they provide the fuel for the bacteria to accelerate the break down of the more “brown” compost; 5) Dry the nettles leaves to make an infusion tea that will give you an iron boost if you’re feeling run down. This tea is also a safe, gentle diuretic—considered restorative for the kidneys and bladder, and used for cystitis and nephritis. 6) As an expectorant, it’s recommended for asthma, mucus conditions of the lungs, and chronic coughs. Nettle tincture is also used for flu, colds, bronchitis and pneumonia; 7) Nettles are a traditional food for people with allergies as they are filled with formic acid, histamine, acetylcholine, serotonin (5-hydroxytryptamine), plus unknown compounds; 8.) Nettle tea compress or finely powdered dried nettles are also good for wounds, cuts, stings, and burns; 9) Other uses include treating gout, glandular diseases, poor circulation, enlarged spleen, diarrhea, and dysentery, worms, intestinal and colon disorders, and hemorrhoids. 10) Eating nettles or drinking the tea makes your hair brighter, thicker and shinier, and makes your skin clearer and healthier—good for eczema and other skin conditions.

Last Note: Strangely, there is no mention of the garden uses of Nettles in Wikipedia. Hmmm.

Sources and Related Links:

Round-up is a descendent of Agent Orange
Ex Monsanto Executives now in the Bush Administration
Interdiction d’informer sur les phytosanitaires naturels non-homologués
Nettles
How to Make Nettles Fertilizer Tea/Insecticide