Though I’ve never wondered or cared about this, here’s some news escargot AKA snail lovers might appreciate. Organic snails are now available for the first time ever from a farm in Bretagne (Brittany). Are you jumping for joy?

“Didier and Jeannick Bonis are spearheading the defence of a national culinary icon under attack from Asian and Eastern European gastropods flooding France and misleadingly sold as Burgundy snails.

‘Welcome to snail Club Med,’ said Mr Bonis, 54, pointing to enclosures where 250,000 petit-gris or small grey snails are slumbering on wooden boards in the afternoon heat. Luscious green organic clover and radish along with marine limestone await them when they stir for their evening meal…” [Read the full article from the Telegraph]

Related: Escargot and Dave Barry, Escargot, the Unslimey Version

Let me introduce you to the nemesis in France that should never ever come in close proximity to your mouth: any fish from warm waters. Some advice. Stay away from it!

I’ll explain.

A friend of ours I’ll call Nemo (not his real name), who works as a quality assurance agent for a very large chain of hypermarkets* in France told us something that compelled me to share with everyone, specifically to expats shopping for fish in any hypermarché in France. This warning applies to everyone as well of course, but honestly, I don’t worry as much about the French, only because I feel that they have much more resistance to food poisoning. Really. It must have something to do with growing up eating camembert.

Anyway, we never buy fish in these large markets but I know many people do. So, here’s the warning: Don’t buy fish coming from bodies of water that are warm, those fish being primarily from Asia. Stores usually indicate where the fish is from originally so you can get an idea about the quality of fish and its edibility (or poison-ability).

Nemo tells us that when he tests fish, he applies a substance on the fish and if there’s evidence of bacteria or other contamination, a black dot will appear. A fish is deemed OK for eating if there are no more than about 6 dots. He finds that fish from warm waters are so laden with bacteria that they are completely covered in black after testing. Clearly, these fish are not fit for consumption, but the hypermarket, being the greedy, exploiting, unethical, evil SOBs that they are, ignored our friend’s recommendation to dispose of this inedible fish. They chose to sell all of the contaminated fish to unsuspecting consumers.

Needless to say, there’s a LOT of contaminated fish out there! Nemo is disgusted and is in search of a new job.

The positive part of this whole thing is that Nemo tells us the fish from the North Atlantic or any cold body of water, generally produces relatively fresh fish, much safer to eat.

* Take your guess at which hypermarché, however, chances are that they all share similar philosophies about “quality assurance” and the bottom line.

That doesn’t quite roll off the tongue like “The Barber of Seville.” Anyway. While taking a walk through one of our favorite medieval villages, Autun, in Burgundy, we came across a shop window that read, “messieurs, messieurs“. (men, men) A barbershop in France! Well, SORT of a barbershop. Probably as close to a barbershop as one could get in France. Where was the barbershop pole?

Why did it look like time stopped inside the shop sometime in the 70s to become a movie set with Quentin Tarantino directing? Nevermind. Look in the display window and what do you see?

Blood splattered everywhere. Barber Shop! Then it must be so.

You see, in France, places like this attract attention because normally during that stroll down the street of French shops, you will see something to this effect: a hair salon, a lingerie shop, a shoe shop (rinse and repeat SEVERAL times over and over and over again). Ok. Once in a while a tabac, clothes store or souvenir shop will be thrown in for good measure but in general it’s the hair salon, lingerie place and shoe store or combination thereof. So, when you see a place like Mr. Barjot’s barbershop, it stands out.

Though he didn’t appear insane at all, the name: “Barjot” actually means “crazy” in French slang (Verlan), taking the inverse of jobard (crazy). He and his client were kind enough to pose for a photo. Thanks, barber (and barber’s client) of Autun!

It occurred to me that barbers might originally have been French, since “barbe” means beard (or boring: la barbe!) in French and barbers back in the day shaved beards. However. Despite being a barbershop, Mr. Barjot doesn’t do barbes.

Links: Everything you ever wanted to know about barbers but were too bored to ask

On sale soon in France: An innovative washing machine that needs no detergent. This means a coupla things: 1) no harsh phosphates and other chemicals into the environment and; 2) No need to buy detergent!

How does it work? Basically, the machine changes the water molecules and breaks them down into specific elements, which then work to sterilize the clothes. If you absolutely have to use detergent, there’s an option to do so (but if you were to do that, why would you want this washing machine in the first place?)

Available soon for €699 ($954).

More information from the site: Wash20 (in French)

[via freshome]