Dialogue Entre Jacques Chirac et Bruno Le Maire
Jacques Chirac: Yo Bruno, what kind of animal is that over there?
Bruno Le Maire: Since when do you say, “yo,” Jacques?
Chirac: It’s always been a part of my vernacular. BTW, you can call me Monsieur Chirac, and don’t change the subject.
Le Maire: Just because I’m the Minister of Agriculture doesn’t mean I know anything about agriculture. I actually hate animals and nature. Didn’t you see me on Canal Plus yesterday? I don’t even know what a turkey sounds like. I just wanted to be Minister and agriculture was the only one available. I took it because I knew les grands surfaces (large supermarket chains) would give me huge bribes to not denounce them because they’re fleecing farmers and French consumers.
Chirac: You sort of suck, Bruno. Of course, bribes are kind of nice.
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Corn on the Cob, Canned Corn and Bisphenol-A (BPA)
Me: WHY can’t we find corn on the cob in France? I want to bbq some during the summers!
Him: We can find it, cherie. Didn’t you see them in all the fields around? I’ll just go pick some for you.
Me: What??! No, dude. They might be the GMO, pesticide ladened, industrial, poisonous varieties.
Him: Anyway, corn on the cob is pig food.
Me: Yet. French people eat canned corn.
Him: Yeah, so?
Me: Canned corn comes from CORN. ON. THE. COB.
Him: Corn on the cob is for pigs.
…and people wonder why I have to make fun of France. Back to corn. Did anyone notice that canned corn is labeled differently? I remember when canned corn always had instructions to rinse the corn before consuming it. I always did that, never realizing that it was probably because of the Bisphenol A (BPA) inside the can (or dirt). These cans still have BPA but the labels to rinse them first have disappeared! Weird, but I guess it alerts consumers that there’s something wrong with the corn. And, as most evil industrial minds reason, the solution is to remove consumer information so they don’t know there are risks. Yea, keep them in the dark! It’s like the law that was just passed in the U.S. where salmon does NOT need to be labeled that it’s genetically modified so people won’t know that the salmon they’re eating is not only bad for them, it’s also potentially dangerous to their health. écoeurant.
Another Dialogue Entre Barack Obama et Nicolas Sarkozy
Previous dialogues: The Dalai Lama et Nicolas Sarkozy, 2 Air France Pilots, Barack Obama et Nicolas Sarkozy, Sarah Palin et Nicolas Sarkozy, Dominique Strauss-Kahn and Anne Sinclair, Francois Hollande and Maxime Bono, The Dalai Lama and Carla Bruni, Michael Phelps and Alain Bernard, Sarkozy and Qaddafi, Laurent Voulzy and Alain Souchon, Barack Obama and Nicolas Sarkozy, Johnny Hallyday and Sylvie Vartan, Tom Hanks and Jean Reno, Daniel Balavoine and Francois Mitterrand, Florent Pagny, Zidane and Xavier Darcos
[Photo courtesy of Pete Souza's Delivering on Change, an Inside Look (slideshow of Obama's first 100 Days at the White House)]