Jacques Chirac: Yo Bruno, what kind of animal is that over there?
Bruno Le Maire: Since when do you say, “yo,” Jacques?
Chirac: It’s always been a part of my vernacular. BTW, you can call me Monsieur Chirac, and don’t change the subject.
Le Maire: Just because I’m the Minister of Agriculture doesn’t mean I know anything about agriculture. I actually hate animals and nature. Didn’t you see me on Canal Plus yesterday? I don’t even know what a turkey sounds like. I just wanted to be Minister and agriculture was the only one available. I took it because I knew les grands surfaces (large supermarket chains) would give me huge bribes to not denounce them because they’re fleecing farmers and French consumers.
Chirac: You sort of suck, Bruno. Of course, bribes are kind of nice.

Click here to see more Dialogues.

Me: WHY can’t we find corn on the cob in France? I want to bbq some during the summers!
Him: We can find it, cherie. Didn’t you see them in all the fields around? I’ll just go pick some for you.
Me: What??! No, dude. They might be the GMO, pesticide ladened, industrial, poisonous varieties.
Him: Anyway, corn on the cob is pig food.
Me: Yet. French people eat canned corn.
Him: Yeah, so?
Me: Canned corn comes from CORN. ON. THE. COB.
Him: Corn on the cob is for pigs.

~~~

…and people wonder why I have to make fun of France. Back to corn. Did anyone notice that canned corn is labeled differently? I remember when canned corn always had instructions to rinse the corn before consuming it. I always did that, never realizing that it was probably because of the Bisphenol A (BPA) inside the can (or dirt). These cans still have BPA but the labels to rinse them first have disappeared! Weird, but I guess it alerts consumers that there’s something wrong with the corn. And, as most evil industrial minds reason, the solution is to remove consumer information so they don’t know there are risks. Yea, keep them in the dark! It’s like the law that was just passed in the U.S. where salmon does NOT need to be labeled that it’s genetically modified so people won’t know that the salmon they’re eating is not only bad for them, it’s also potentially dangerous to their health. écoeurant.

Here’s the context from which this dialogue was taken: Dominique de Villepin en visite à la ferme (article in French).

Click here to see more “Dialogues entre…”!

Previous dialogues: The Dalai Lama et Nicolas Sarkozy, 2 Air France Pilots, Barack Obama et Nicolas Sarkozy, Sarah Palin et Nicolas Sarkozy, Dominique Strauss-Kahn and Anne Sinclair, Francois Hollande and Maxime Bono, The Dalai Lama and Carla Bruni, Michael Phelps and Alain Bernard, Sarkozy and Qaddafi, Laurent Voulzy and Alain Souchon, Barack Obama and Nicolas Sarkozy, Johnny Hallyday and Sylvie Vartan, Tom Hanks and Jean Reno, Daniel Balavoine and Francois Mitterrand, Florent Pagny, Zidane and Xavier Darcos

[Photo courtesy of Pete Souza's Delivering on Change, an Inside Look (slideshow of Obama's first 100 Days at the White House)]

Previous dialogues: 2 Air France Pilots, Barack Obama et Nicolas Sarkozy, Sarah Palin et Nicolas Sarkozy, Dominique Strauss-Kahn and Anne Sinclair, Francois Hollande and Maxime Bono, The Dalai Lama and Carla Bruni, Michael Phelps and Alain Bernard, Sarkozy and Qaddafi, Laurent Voulzy and Alain Souchon, Barack Obama and Nicolas Sarkozy, Johnny Hallyday and Sylvie Vartan, Tom Hanks and Jean Reno, Daniel Balavoine and Francois Mitterrand, Florent Pagny, Zidane and Xavier Darcos

tags: france, french, dalai lama, china, sarkozy

Previous dialogues: Dialogue entre Barack Obama et Nicolas Sarkozy, Dialogue entre Sarah Palin et Nicolas Sarkozy, Dominique Strauss-Kahn and Anne Sinclair, Francois Hollande and Maxime Bono, The Dalai Lama and Carla Bruni, Michael Phelps and Alain Bernard, Sarkozy and Qaddafi, Laurent Voulzy and Alain Souchon, Barack Obama and Nicolas Sarkozy, Johnny Hallyday and Sylvie Vartan, Tom Hanks and Jean Reno, Daniel Balavoine and Francois Mitterrand, Florent Pagny, Zidane and Xavier Darcos

tags: france, french, air france, air france pilots, strike, la grève

Previous dialogues: Dialogue entre Sarah Palin et Nicolas Sarkozy, Dominique Strauss-Kahn and Anne Sinclair, Francois Hollande and Maxime Bono, The Dalai Lama and Carla Bruni, Michael Phelps and Alain Bernard, Sarkozy and Qaddafi, Laurent Voulzy and Alain Souchon, Barack Obama and Nicolas Sarkozy, Johnny Hallyday and Sylvie Vartan, Tom Hanks and Jean Reno, Daniel Balavoine and Francois Mitterrand, Florent Pagny, Zidane and Xavier Darcos

tags: france, french, barack obama, nicolas sarkozy

Previous dialogues: Dominique Strauss-Kahn and Anne Sinclair, Francois Hollande and Maxime Bono, The Dalai Lama and Carla Bruni, Michael Phelps and Alain Bernard, Sarkozy and Qaddafi, Laurent Voulzy and Alain Souchon, Barack Obama and Nicolas Sarkozy, Johnny Hallyday and Sylvie Vartan, Tom Hanks and Jean Reno, Daniel Balavoine and Francois Mitterrand, Florent Pagny, Zidane and Xavier Darcos

tags: france, french, Sarah Palin , nicolas sarkozy, elections, scary candidates

Previous dialogues: Francois Hollande and Maxime Bono, The Dalai Lama and Carla Bruni, Michael Phelps and Alain Bernard, Sarkozy and Qaddafi, Laurent Voulzy and Alain Souchon, Barack Obama and Nicolas Sarkozy, Johnny Hallyday and Sylvie Vartan, Tom Hanks and Jean Reno, Daniel Balavoine and Francois Mitterrand, Florent Pagny, Zidane and Xavier Darcos

tags: france, IMF, Dominique Strauss-Kahn, Anne Sinclair, sex scandals, business as usual

My book arrived in the mail today! A French expressions dictionary is perfect for my lack of attention span these days. Just open up a random page and learn something quickly. And voilà, quoi.

Some of the first items we fell upon were unknown to my sweetie, so there’s a good chance that many expressions in this book will not be that practical because even French people aren’t familiar with them. However, there are definitely some silly ones, good for a laugh. Here’s one I thought was fun, and like many French expressions, involves food.

avoir le persil qui dépasse du cabas – to have parsley overflowing from a basket (or grocery bag) – means that your pubic hair is exposed (because your bathing suit is too small or you haven’t shaved depending on your perspective). Example: Je ne peux pas aller à la piscine, j’ai le persil qui dépasse du cabas ! (I can’t go to the pool because my pubic hair is showing! (or because I haven’t shaved!))

tags: france, french, french expressions, parsley, pubic hair

I was recently at a dinner party and someone recommended that I get some DVDs of Raymond Devos, a famous stand-up comedian (as well as a humorist, clown and “fake” Belgian). She thought I’d really enjoy his humor. Immediately, another person in the group blurted, “She’s not going to understand that!” and continues, “there are too many expressions that will just go past her.”

Obviously, I didn’t appreciate his asinine comment at all. Admittedly, he may have been right about what he said, but he shouldn’t have said that JACKASS comment out loud. What a jerk.

He is now on my HATE list.

Anyway, last night on the news, they announced the release of a new dictionary called, On va le dire comme ca, and I had to get it! I just ordered it even though it is 30 euros. It’s sort of the first of its kind, apparently, and explains 5000 French expressions and sayings (in French). As a non-native French speaker who is always trying to learn new words and expressions, this kind of information comes slowly, and painfully, like in conversations. And it doesn’t help when I immediately forget what they mean.

With this dictionary, it’ll be nice to have most if not all expressions I’ll ever come across, conveniently located in one book.

tags: france, french, dictionary, french expressions, unpleasant dinner guests

The Parti Socialist (PS) just wrapped up their L’université d’été, a summer camp-like convention for French politicians. This year it was in La Rochelle (I’m not sure if the venue changes yearly). Here’s the extremely long-winded Francois Hollande, the premier secrétaire of the socialist party with the mayor of La Rochelle, Maxime Bono, in the background.

Previous dialogues: The Dalai Lama and Carla Bruni, Michael Phelps and Alain Bernard, Sarkozy and Qaddafi, Laurent Voulzy and Alain Souchon, Barack Obama and Nicolas Sarkozy, Johnny Hallyday and Sylvie Vartan, Tom Hanks and Jean Reno, Daniel Balavoine and Francois Mitterrand, Florent Pagny, Zidane and Xavier Darcos

tags: france, politicians, ps, francois hollande, L’université d’été

Previous dialogues: Michael Phelps and Alain Bernard, Sarkozy and Qaddafi, Laurent Voulzy and Alain Souchon, Barack Obama and Nicolas Sarkozy, Johnny Hallyday and Sylvie Vartan, Tom Hanks and Jean Reno, Daniel Balavoine and Francois Mitterrand, Florent Pagny, Zidane and Xavier Darcos

tags: france, dalai lama, carla bruni, sarkozy no show, china’s slave

Previous dialogues: Sarkozy and Qaddafi, Laurent Voulzy and Alain Souchon, Barack Obama and Nicolas Sarkozy, Johnny Hallyday and Sylvie Vartan, Tom Hanks and Jean Reno, Daniel Balavoine and Francois Mitterrand, Florent Pagny, Zidane and Xavier Darcos

tags: france, michael phelps, olympics 2008, alain bernard, world record

Previous Dialogues: Laurent Voulzy and Alain Souchon, Barack Obama and Nicolas Sarkozy, Johnny Hallyday and Sylvie Vartan, Tom Hanks and Jean Reno, Daniel Balavoine and Francois Mitterrand, Florent Pagny, Zidane and Xavier Darcos

tags: france, dalai lama, gaddafi, sarkozy snubs the dalai lama, china’s french poodle

Two nights ago on the evening news Francoise Laborde lightly mentioned that there was yet ANOTHER uranium leak at the Tricastin nuclear power plant near Avignon. This makes a reported 3 radioactive leaks in the last couple of months, and 2 leaks at the same plant. Only partially paying attention, I wasn’t sure I heard correctly. Me, “Wait. WHAT??!” But the subject was over in literally 20 seconds. No elaboration of any kind. This seemed like substantial news but it was slipped hidden in between back to school news and international news (video archive Edition du Mercredi 6 Août 2008).

Me: That nuclear power plant in Tricastin is 30 years old or so, and it’s encountering more and more problems.

Him: Yup.

Me: Is this an accident waiting to happen, here? I mean, it’s literally falling apart at the seams.

Him: Probably.

Me: Should we get the hell outta Dodge?

Him: Dodge?

Me: Should we leave France? I don’t want to be here when that things blows. You know, a French Chernobyl.

Him: Don’t worry about it. It probably has already blown.

Me: Um. Great. No wonder I’ve been feeling so crappy lately.

Link: Tricastin: Encore une fuite cachée? (in French)

tags: france, uranium leaks, tricastin, radiation, contamination

Previous Dialogues: Johnny Hallyday and Sylvie Vartan, Tom Hanks and Jean Reno, Daniel Balavoine and Francois Mitterrand, Florent Pagny, Zidane and Xavier Darcos

tags: france, barack obama nicolas sarkozy

More Dimanche Dialogues: Tom Hanks and Jean Reno, Daniel Balavoine and Francois Mitterrand, Florent Pagny, Zidane and Xavier Darcos

Known for his raspy voice and chart topping pop songs, Florent Pagny (left) sung his tax woes in the song, “Ma Liberté de Penser” (My freedom to think), and even though this happened long ago, France is rather merciless and never lets neither him nor anyone else forget about any of their past predicaments particularly if they involve stepping over legal lines.

Note: Xavier Darcos is France’s Education Minister (though it would’ve been more ironic if he’d been the Finance Minister…)

tags: france florent pagny zidane xavier darcos taxes

Another conversation: Dialogue entre Daniel Balavoine and Francois Mitterrand

tags: france jean reno tom hanks sarkozy life’s regrets

As a chronic conspiracy theorist and as a person who strongly believes that no politician is good, this imagined dialogue spawned from my various psycho suspicions. It’s a conversation between Late French Singer/Activist Daniel Balavoine and Late President of the French Republic Francois Mitterrand – based on a very well-known confrontation between the two on a talk show in 1980. (Here’s a transcription in French.) Perhaps more “Dialogues Entre Quelqu’un et Quelqu’un d’autre” in France will surface here if I remember to post some. Something for Sundays.

Anyway, back to the dialogue between two dead people.

During the fateful day on live French TV, it appeared that Francois Mitterrand, then running for French President, attempted to lure the youth vote by having the popular singer invited as a “trophy” guest on the live talk show. It was obvious that they had no intention of letting Balavoine say anything. So, Balavoine exploded in anger. He insisted on having air-time for what he had to say, and, in a nutshell, he was trying to represent young adults expressing that they shared a sense of hopelessness because of many unanswered questions and ignored problems. They no longer believed in French politics and policies and felt desperate. He wanted to warn world leaders, which seemed like a direct criticism to Mitterand, that if the situation did not improve, this desperation would surely result in devastating consequences.

I don’t believe Mitterrand was very pleased. That being said, I’m positive the communist party wasn’t very happy, either, with what Balavoine said about them. (He’d questioned what they REALLY did with the money they received.) Wait. Balavoine also criticized Gaston Deferre, who was mayor of Marseille at the time, remarking that he and his administration were not the best societal role models…

Daniel Balavoine was killed in 1986 in a SO-CALLED, “accident.” YES. I don’t really think it was an accident.

It could have been Deferre! Hold on. He also mentioned that M. Soisson, the Ministre de la jeunesse / the Youth Minister, is OLD! And how could a Youth Minister truly act on behalf young adults if he, himself, is old. It might have been Soisson!

tags: france daniel balavoine confrontation francois mitterrand not an accident who killed daniel balavoine?