This is not the first time I’ve pointed out funny shirts I’ve seen in France and I have a feeling it won’t be the last either. I absolutely had to take a photo of this French guy’s t-shirt. It would’ve been hysterical without an apostrophe and S (though would not have been true in this case). Also notice the “4U 69.”

I lied to him to get him to pose for me just to make things quick and uncomplicated. I told him I collected photos of t-shirts and post them on my blog. I like to consider this a “partial truth.”

Tags: france, french, t-shirts, english, funny

Many expats in France call Skype their bestfriend, or at least call their bestfriends with Skype. Yay for free long-distance calls! (Don’t know about Skype? It’s a program for making free calls over the internet to anyone else who also has Skype. Read more about Skype.)

Anyway, here’s something that works with Skype if ever necessary. Call Recorder is a very easy way to record your Skype calls and even your favorite podcasts (Call Recorder converts your QuickTime movies into mp3 files). Call Recorder is an add-on for Skype which automatically transforms your calls into QuickTime movies. This is a Mac application – and you can download the free demo to test it out: Call Recorder.

Though calls made from Skype to a regular phone line aren’t free, it’s fairly comparable to local calls but this is where the Call Recorder can come in handy: Remember calling the Gaz de France office or France Telecom or your sacré internet provider because you’ve had problems and need some sort of resolution? Record them on the phone! Ok, not that that is going to help but you at least have their lies on “tape.” That said, usually the most effective way to get administrative help is to send a registered letter to them.

On a related note here’s something for the francophone community using Skype… Si vous êtes un utilisateur francophone du logiciel Skype, voici une astuce pour ajouter francais comme langue par défaut: Cliquez ici: iApple

Tags: france, french, skype, long+distance, call+recorder, macs, macintosh

Often in conversation, I want to stop and remark about the differences of words chosen in French versus what would be used in English. French seems ultimately more friendly, relaxed and sensual. I love this. It would be too disruptive and geeky to interrupt with, “hey! that word is way more descriptive in French! English can be so boring sometimes.” – so I  usually stay quiet with a big smile on my face. I know, it must look silly, what can I say. It’s the little things. For the following conversation, I’d say that in English, one would simply say, “shrank.” The French version is much cuter. Me: “You look like you lost a little weight.” Thinking, if you would just pull up the boxers, pull the saggy pants down a little, I’d hand you a rapper’s mic. but instead… S.O.: “Yeah, I think I lost a few pounds.” Me: “I only say that because your pants are baggy…in the back.” S.O.: “Are you looking at my butt?” Me: (silence) S.O.: “You’re right. My butt melted.”

Tags: french, language, linguistics

there are so many british people living in the region of dordogne, that french authorities have opened an english-speaking tax office! i find that amazing.

read the article here: how to pay tax in french without tears (financial times)

are you thinking the same thing i am? (aside from thinking how rude i’ve become for writing a title like that) the “pisse-dru” label was likely created by people that unarguably heavily “tested” the product, but more so, clearly takes the prize for the most blundering marketing idea for this beaujolais wine. before i go further, “pisse-dru” means “piss a lot.” you know, just like beaucoup. don’t some americans say “buckets”? (that would work here.) the label un-whimsically features three extremely unattractive troll-like pot bellied plastered winos staggering about in unabashed bumbling-stumbling fashion. (one of them is even lifting his leg, as if….nevermind) yes, the prize goes to pisse-dru until i come across a ratty tat touille (the non-vegetarian version made with rats) or a caca dru cassoulet or even a fatty liver made by overfeeding and ramming food down a goose’s neck. oh wait a minute…

where was i? ah, the wine label. did you notice that it is YELLOW? yellow, like…nevermind. i don’t claim to be a marketing expert but i can only imagine father of advertising, david ogilvy turning over in his grave about this product campaign gone insane. the whole concept of the label seems soooo wrong. or is it just me? i can’t seem to get past the eye-catching, bright red letters that spell out the word PISS, can you? and by the looks of things with the shelves being completely stocked, not many, or hopefully no one fell victim to this stuff, which will most likely rot your gut to a point of no return, let alone make you pee a river seine. i wonder; does customer loyalty come into play here? (i’m envisioning all the towns’ winos cutting in line at the cashier) all i know is, it would have to be some wickedly amazing wine to bypass that uninspiring label. of course, you’d have to buy it initially but how would you get past that pee pee yellow? another question: do french people even notice the label? and if so, do they care? WWSGD? hmmmm. come to think of it, maybe this beaujolais for fat urinating alcoholics sells because, as marketing guru, seth godin says, “all marketers are liars” perhaps french consumers know this and enjoy their yellow label wine anyway. so let’s hope it is the case of marketing-itus and the french advertising executives of pisse-dru were indeed lying.

just as english uses french words incorrectly, (i.e., in the u.s., “rendez-vous” has more of a connotation of a tryst or a (romantic) date – in french, you can have a rendezvous with the dentist, a simple and innocent appointment) – inversely the french will sometimes use english words incorrectly. i guess i shouldn’t really say that’s these words are incorrect because well, in france, they are correct. i find them really adorable. note: they may or may not be in the dictionary (i didn’t check) so, while they might be shunned by the stuffy academie francaise elite, they are definitely spoken in real life. (i’ve heard them!)

FOOT – “il va faire du foot” means he’s going to play soccer. this makes sense (in france) since “soccer” in french is football. my SO says americans are weird to call american football, FOOTBALL, since they play with their hands

FOOTING – means jogging. in french someone might say, “je vais faire du footing.” (i’m going jogging/running). when i’ve heard this, i confused it with FOOT (see above). all those times someone said they’d go FOOTING, i thought they were going to play soccer. i’d thought, man, a lot of people play soccer around here!

FLIPPER – nope, flipper does not mean everyone’s favorite dolphin from the 60s, but instead, in france, means PINBALL (the old arcade game). sure there are flippers in there but i guess the french did not get into the old rock musical, TOMMY. – somehow, HE’S A FLIPPER WIZARD doesn’t sound right.

PEPS – like the word PEP in english, in french PEPS means a boost of energy. i heard a teenager on tv recently say, “j’ai du peps.” (i have energy) – the S is always pronounced in french, which makes it sound strange to my ears.

RUGBYMAN – this one’s not too far out there. it does mean RUGBY PLAYER but more than one rugby player is RUGBYMANS (the S is not pronounced).

PLAYBACK – if someone on tv pretends to be singing over a recording, in france they’ll say, “ah, il chante en playback.” (oh, he’s singing in “playback”). in english, we’d just say he’s lip syncing. while technically, saying “playback” is correct, in english i’d say most people would say “lip sync.”

TALKIE WALKIE – a “talkie walkie” in french does mean walkie-talkie, so it’s not too incorrect (just mixed up a bit), but always makes me laugh out loud when i hear it. (i know, it doesn’t take much)

there has got to be more of these; i just can’t think of any right now. do you have any examples?

update: more Les faux anglicismes

when i first came to france, i’d go into pastry shops and just point to what looked good and ask for that. i didn’t know the names of many pastries other than the standard “pain au chocolat” (the square shaped croissant-like pastry with chocolate inside), croissant, and…that’s about it!

sidenote: when i was in bordeaux, people called it “chocolatine” instead of pain au chocolat. (i’m not sure where else they say this.)

it’s ok to point and request things but doesn’t it feel better to know what you’re talking about? also, it’s logistically easier because sometimes you’ll order on one side of the bakery and all the pastries you want are on the other side. anyway, today’s pastry is called, the “paris brest,” a pastry puff with a hole in the middle, split in half and filled with a smooth hazelnut pastry cream with toasted, sliced almonds and powdered sugar topping the puff. it’s one of my favorites because it is soooooooo goooOOOoooooood.

some background on the paris brest pastry: in 1891 france launched its first bicycle race from paris to brest (and back again to paris). an entrepreneurial-minded french pastry baker with a shop along the route, decided to dedicate a pastry to the race and created a circular eclair that was to resemble bicycle tires. his creative, baking business mind paid off. the paris brest was a success, as was the bike race. (the paris brest bike race was a precursor to the tour de france, which began in 1903.)

source: JSonline

one of my frustrations here is that it’s difficult to find shirts with french on them. i’ve been looking for sweat shirts, t-shirts etc. for christmas stocking stuffers for my nieces and nephews. other than the large city names on t-shirts, there are slim pickings.

you’d think there’s an enormous missing opportunity here since france is the MOST VISITED COUNTRY IN THE WORLD.

clothing shops! think of all the shirts you’d sell to tourists! yes, there are other souvenirs to get from france but t’s with french written on them – are the most requested item from kids (at least from my fam). not mini eiffel towers, not croissant magnets, not arc de triomphe keychains – but french shirts!

there’s no shortage of “ENGLISH” written on shirts here but oftentimes they are like the one in the photo.

it makes sense that france, a country that is unambiguously sensual, hedonistic and known for some of the best cuisine on earth – has a language filled with references to food. i find this adorable and as colorful as the most meticulously prepared tarte aux fruits.

admittedly, i don’t hear these expressions very often in every day life, but i do hear some once in a while (usually met with my “HUH?”) and definitely more on television. some of my favorites:

-c’est pas tes oignons – that’s none of your business – lit: those aren’t your onions

-avoir du pain sur la planche – to be busy with work – lit: to have bread on the board

-etre dans le pâté – to feel groggy – lit: to be in the p�t�

-vouloir le beurre et l’argent du beurre – to want your cake and eat it too – lit: to want the butter and the butter sales

-avoir la banane – to have energy – lit: to have the banana

-c’est du gateau – it’s easy! no prob, like in english, ‘piece of cake’ though, i really like the equivalent expression (though it’s not food related), “doigt dans le nez” – lit: finger in the nose! that makes me laugh.

-tomber dans les pommes – to faint – lit: fall in the apples

-mettre la main à la pâte – to help someone – lit: get your hand in the dough

-bonne poire – someone is too nice – lit: good pear

-ramener ta fraise – know it all – lit: bring back your strawberry

-faire ca pour des prunes – do something for nothing – lit: to do that for plums

-ecrase ta banane – shut up – lit: smush your banana

also, there’s gotta be more expression especially using words like CHEESE or baguette or cream.

do you know of any more?

Nice’s long, tumultuous history has wildly influenced the current unique language of Nice, “Le Nissart,” incorporating Roman, Provençal and French vocabulary, yet it still somehow manages to retain its Nice specificity.

While meandering the winding narrow webbed alleys of Old Town Nice, open up your senses to the quirky sound of the Nice dialect, and notice the street signs written in French as well as in Nissart.

Ahhh, Les Chtimi…No, I don’t have a cold and Yes, that IS French, believe it or not. The Chtimi (cutely pronounced shtee’mee) is a moniker for the northern French (the people in the very, very north of France surrounding the city of Lille) and they have a special patois that is so incredibly adorable and weird, oftentimes, I have to admit, that I have no idea what they’re saying. I’m writing this just after having returned from spending lunch with a neighbor and his visiting Chtimi inlaws.

I will have to do a little bit of linguistic and historical research about its origins (when i have some time) because it’s an interesting subject. I wonder if it has something to do with their proximity to the Belgian border, so some Flemish influence plays into this mix. Or perhaps it’s from the large communities of Polish and Italian immigrants who came to the north of France to work in the mines. (the mining industry lasted 270 years and finally ended by 1990 there.)

Back to the Chtimi language. There IS a lot of the SH sound, for example, if someone says, “ça” it sounds like “sha” or more strange is the adding of the sh sound to pere, which transforms into chpere (pronounced shpehr). Other examples would be the word “beau” which turns to “bieau” (bee-oh); An alambic = cafetiere, a cayelle = chaise, tchiot (pronounced CHO) = petit, bistouille = alcool avec le café, acater (akahtay) = acheter. It’s unusual.

There’s a saying in France about the northern French that I find very sweet and based on my own experiences, very true: Les gens du nord ont le soleil dans le coeur. (The people in the north have the sun in their hearts). That goes with the fact that it rains a lot in the north, nevertheless, are a very warm hearted people. There’s even a song about Les gens du Nord

The most famous Chtimi I could find doing an online search, is the entertainer, Dany Boon (pictured above). If anyone knows of more, please let me know.