From the guardian:

“Britain’s assault on French cookery has been stepped up by a Yorkshire bakery which has started exporting lorry-loads of baguettes across the Channel.
Fosters of Barnsley has used a legal loophole to beat local boulangers to a contract supplying the narrow loaves to the whole of the French railway system.

The order follows a double whammy for North of England butchers who stole Grand Prix d’Excellence awards earlier this year at Europe’s biggest black pudding contest in France. The Real Lancashire Pudding company went on to take two gold medals in the usually French and Belgian-dominated tasting organised by the Compagnons de la Gastronomie Porcine.

The baguette triumph, which has earned Fosters managing director, John Foster, the French media title of “most hated man in France”, is down to the firm’s expertise in making long-life loaves.
French local law forbids the use of fat which is key to the long-life process, Foster said yesterday, but competitors from elsewhere in the European Union can sidestep the ban, under European legislation. Building on the “rolling stock” order, the Barnsley bakery is now challenging the brioche market in France, using the same method.

“Their own bakers could give them a good product, but it didn’t fit the railway’s needs,” said Foster. “In Yorkshire we’ve a tradition of giving customers what they want. They asked for baguettes which don’t go stale and we said yes, we can do you them. We’re shipping the stuff out by the wagon-load.”

Foster said he had been surprised by the “cheek” of the mismatch between French and EU law but recognised a good sales opportunity.”

Not being a fan of the overrated Louis Vuitton line of luxury handbags and luggage (and in general), this is another reason for me to take my dislike up a notch.

Louis Vuitton is suing a design student (Nadia Plesner) working with a Darfur fundraiser because their recent campaign called, “Simple Living” shows a refugee with a little chihuahua and expensive LV-ish handbag. Sound or Look familiar? As most of us sadly know, this combination of images only leads to one person: Paris Hilton. The raison d’etre of this design illustrates that people like Hilton get all of the media attention (and why?!), while much more attention-worthy important causes are being ignored.

All of the proceeds of the t-shirts and posters of this campaign are going to charity.

Buy a t-shirt now and support Nadia and Save Darfur

[via]

Leave it to outside-the-box thinking* French designer, Philippe Di Méo, to design tableware inspired by sex toys. The collection of erotic tableware called, Souper Fin (which is a play on words of “fine dining” and “super fine”), was designed in collaboration with renowned luxury companies Baccarat, Goyard, Cristofle and Orfèvrerie d’Anjou among others.




Souper Fin will be exhibited at L’Eclaireur (Paris) in July. Each item will be complemented with a specially created chef’s dish and recipe. (I guess so you know how to use some of the utensils!)

* Philippe Di Méo once designed perfumes based on sweat, tears and saliva.

Souper Fin

[via]

Tags: french, luxury, erotic, kinky, tableware, france, sex+toys, recipes, Philippe+Di+Méo, Reso

More Chinese haters of France. In this case, it’s a taxi driver that is refusing Frenchmen and dogs. What about French women? French children? Are they turning away French poodles? Bichon Frisés? The noyve.

I don’t think France cares too much if she’s hated but don’t you wonder why China is picking on France specifically - when there have been boycotts all along the world path of the Olympic torch? What about England? What about the U.S.? Japan? They tried to trample the Olympic torch, too.

And, and, and, what did dogs do to deserve that? Can’t we all just get along?

Apparemment non.

From yahoo:

“The French government will “suspend” the use of new software for recording the personal habits and affiliations of its citizens in a police database, following an outcry by civil rights groups.

But Synergie-Officiers supported storage of information about the race and religion of suspects and victims. In France some violent crimes attract tougher sentences if motivated by racial or religious hatred, and the union warned that if campaign groups want such hate crimes pursued more vigorously, then police need a way to identify the relevant information about attackers and victims during investigations.”

Tags: france, big+brother, privacy+threatened, software, civil+liberties

Do you get this ad? It might have worked if they added a short tagline (though that would have been a bit tricky)… Here’s a hint: Manix (King Size) sells extra large condoms…

I know these Chinese guys didn’t mean for this to be funny and for all intents and purposes it isn’t funny, but still…

They just don’t GET it.

Hey, and Napoleon’s a pervert!

Related: Olympic Torch

The Eurovision (the European annual talent show that has taken on a cult following)’s contestant from France is a guy named Sébastien Tellier. I like him; he’s fun and silly - though I’ve listened to the selected song and I have no idea what it’s about.

So, the big scandal in France is that he’s singing in English NOT in French. OMG!

So frickin’ what. The Belgian band, Ishtar, is singing in a non-existent language.

Anyway, that is sort of old news and I am a bit behind. However, when I watched the youtube video of “Divine,” the song he’s supposed to perform at Eurovision, I noticed something. Is it my imagination or is he not even in that video? Maybe, just MAYBE he’s in a couple of shots at most, but I don’t think that’s him lip syncing him - just other people wearing a wig and fake facial hair. Take a look at “him” at the pool. C’mon, that is totally not Sébastien Tellier. See, I told you he’s fun and silly!

Look.

This is what Sébastien Tellier looks like:

It made me wonder if Thomas Bangalter & Guy Man de Homem-Christo from Daft Punk actually perform in their own vids. It doesn’t really matter, I suppose.

But! Will the REAL Sébastien Tellier show up for Eurovision Belgrade (May 20) 2008? On verra.

Seen near Bordeaux, France

Tags: france, bordeaux, simply+market, strange+english, french, supermarkets

Sadly, it happened. The last several years of SATC, CSI (aka in France Les Experts), and face it, all American shows - has shaken the reason out of Europeans. What am I talking about?

Take out coffee cups. You know, you see everyone with them. Everywhere. Those ridiculous disposable paper or worse, plastic cups with plastic lids. HATE those. Don’t we need to REDUCE our waste? Don’t we know that PLASTIC is evil and toxic? What is wrong with us? Are we stooooppid? Oui, je dirais.

We saw this poster on a cafe and felt sort of disgusted. I mean, these take away cups are for espresso so they are little disposable cups. Hello…maybe I shouldn’t be complaining since it’s not like a ventimongosize cup from Starbucks (which I HATE) but I can’t help it. An espresso in France, that’s like 3 TABLESPOONS of strong coffee right there in a teeny tiny cup with a handle through which you can’t even fit your fingers. It takes like 3.5 seconds to consume in a cafe. WHY do we need to have it to go?

On a lighter note, here’s today’s France photo. It’s a sculpture we saw at the entrance of a tunnel I think somewhere in the vicinity of Montpellier. It’s not particularly attractive but it does get your attention, if anything.

Last night a special report aired on television (on the show Envoyé Spécial on France 2) about the Olympic Torch in Paris, and showed how the whole spectacle unraveled. While everyone expected a certain amount of unrest from France (and got it), there was some disturbing behavior reported that sent shivers down my spine. It reminded me of something I saw years ago on TV about what could happen in the near future. But, in fact, seems to be happening now.

About 5 years ago, there was a very short-lived (1 season only) but brilliant TV show called, Firefly. It was a Sci-Fi Western set aboard a transport starship with a small crew that took on unquestionably criminal moonlighting jobs. The backdrop was a starry landscape of deep space roughly 500 years into the future and everyone spoke some sort of hybrid of Chinese and Redneck English. Obviously, the implication of the state of the universe 500 years from now was frightening. It shows that the political, geographical and philosophical meltdown over the years eventually embraces China as master. It means China ruled the world.

Back to the Olympic torch event in Paris. The report showed cameramen and journalists all crowded on a truck just in front of the Olympic torch runners - obviously to capture the “glorious” Olympic moment. The French crew notices that the Chinese journalists do not shoot any of the protesters all around the truck; they simply ignore them and tape the torch. The Chinese people evidently will never see any of the human rights activists.

The French and other countries’ journalists, obviously, wanted to capture everything. At that moment, the Chinese cameraman notices being taped by the French, then alerts the Chinese security team about it, saying, “There’s a dangerous cameraman onboard.” Apparently, the Chinese security ordered the French police to remove them without question. Seconds later, The French police arrive and apologetically remove the journalists, who did have the permission to be present. While removing them, the French police said something to the effect of, “we have to follow orders.”

Clearly, it is obvious who is in power here. How could the Chinese have authority outside of their country? It’s strange to see them have all that power in France. They also did appear to be calling the shots in San Francisco, as well. Did you notice? I guess that’s what happens, U.S., when you owe China that much money. The U.S. borrows $3 billion a DAY from Japan, China, the UK and oil exporting countries. Do things make a little more sense now? Is this a reflection of what is to come? The signs of the times, they’re scary.

Could this submissive behavior on the part of the French have something to do with their recent Nuclear Energy deal worth 8 BILLION EUROS ($11.86 billion) with China? Does it have anything to do with the fact that so many French companies have installed themselves in China? Does “Made in China” sound familiar?

An aside: I’ve recently noticed that everything made in China has started to look like “Made in PRC” (People’s Republic of China). You don’t fool me.

Links: Made in China , Olympic Torch

Tags: france, china, olympics, 2008, torch

More adorable houses in France. This cute home reminds me of the elevated apartment we saw in Nevers.

This side faces the Isle River and has Perigueux’s famous cathedrale as a backdrop.

This side shows how to enter the house. I wonder where the ladder is.

From gizmodo:

“Ouch, that payback, it can be a bitch — Sony BMG, distributors of rootkit-installing CDs and litigious foe of P2P users worldwide, has just been busted in France for using pirated software on its servers. And it gets even worse: Windows admin tool developer PointDev says a Sony BMG was caught when an IT staffer actually called up for support and gave a pirated license number to the phone tech. That’s some pretty shady behavior for a company that’s rammed anti-piracy measures down its own customers’ throats — too bad it’s probably not going to feel the hit of the €300,000 ($475,000) lawsuit nearly as hard as the college students it routinely sues for $5,000.”

With his approval ratings plunging into seemingly negative numbers, Sarkozy has been under extreme mounting pressure and stress to improve his popularity as was witnessed earlier in his presidential career. He has shocked the world by taking France by the horns (feathers) with his immediate action against immigration. His stance on “work more, earn more” slapped lagging chomeurs and professional “RMIistes” out of their beds. His marriage to a supermodel taller than him caused a stir outside of France. Of course, inside the hexagon, the French did not bat an eye, and wouldn’t do so even if he married a hairless dwarf monkey.

Although no one faults him for his singularity and take-charge attitude, the people of France expected an overall improvement in the quality of French life from Monsieur le president. Instead they got skyrocketing inflation and endless reportages of his love life. The public knows that during the myriad of marriage footage in the media, he was covertly passing unsavory laws - and le peuple is not pleased.

But in an unprecedented move to come clean, Sarkozy has offered complete transparency and divulged his intentions in an impromptu press conference today. He has decided to be open and honest about his plans for the country and has taken a vow of truth to disclose all plans and events to the public as they happen. He also plans to admit his recent “misinformations.” (We call those “lies.”)

He then continued to inform the media and general public of his recent decisions and actions, which are as follows:

1. He admits to having married supermodel, Carla Bruni, because she is a perfect trophy wife. He felt that having a beautiful, tall younger woman as a wife would boost his ratings. He, in actuality, hates Carla with the passion - particularly because she looks better nude than he does, speaks better English than he does, and everyone would rather talk to her and not him at cocktail parties.

2. Since the launching of the euro in France in 2002, the price of food and goods have gone through the roof, so much so, that many people are running out of money. They’ve had to resort to spending their savings. When France’s currency was the franc, even poor people could afford basic needs and still were able to save a little in the bank. Sarkozy realizes this and confesses that he does not care about poor people, so originally he had no intentions of any kind to make changes - but since today, he’s decided to bend a little and although it may sound shocking, he has decided to bring back the Franc. “Forget euros,” he quipped, “that currency is for pauvre cons.”

3. Regarding the Olympics in Beijing this summer, Sarkozy has urged everyone to buy a Reporters without Borders t-shirt and wear them next week, April 7, when the Olympic torch passes through Paris. “You must change the t-shirts a little, however,” he said, “please tear off the sleeves so that we all look like Rambo. Don’t forget to wear a bandana around your head, too”

Poisson d’avril!! April Fools!

Related: France Demands Worldwide Royalties

Those opposing the new Eiffel Tower “hat” can breathe a sigh of relief. The new hat for the Eiffel Tower is a No-Go. Not only that, it was never a GO, nor part of a design competition; it was never approved for restructuring the famous landmark. WHO invented THAT story??

From nyt:

“David Serero, principal of Serero Architects, said in a telephone interview that his firm’s proposal was merely a spontaneous design it had submitted to the Eiffel Tower management group in view of the tower’s approaching 120th anniversary and, he said, was neither a response to a design competition nor solicited by the tower’s management.

The Guardian’s Web site reported Monday that the Eiffel Tower’s management group, the Société d’Exploitation de la Tour Eiffel, had approved a temporary restructuring of the observation platform, which would alter the tower’s overall shape. After the report was picked up by other news organizations, the management group said that it had never solicited a redesign and that it envisaged no changes to the tower’s appearance.

Mr. Serero said his firm submitted unsolicited designs and put them on the Web, where they were later seen by news organizations.”

From decanter:

“For the first time in their history, Paris pawn shops have agreed to take bottles of wine in exchange for cash.

More than 350 bottles with a total value of €60,000 (£45,000) have been pawned – inlcuding a €5,000 Domaine de la Romanee Conti.

The initiative was launched by Crédit Municipal de Paris, the local authority pawnshop - which usually deals in family heirlooms and pieces of jewellery - last week.

The wine is to be stored in the 18th-century cellars under the Crédit Municipal building…”

Read the whole article

[via]

Since our friends from the U.S. were visiting, we thought it would be fun to meet in Provence and go wine tasting. Some of France’s finest wines come from Chateauneuf du pape and everyone was up for that, so off we (three Americans and one French guy) went.

We stumbled upon a wine cellar that produced award-winning wine and received an informative presentation from the vintner, who spoke fluent English. We tasted 4 wines, and thought about buying a few bottles. They were excellent wines. While discussing what we would get amongst ourselves, the vintner blurts out that he expected we buy CASES of wine. He said something like, “Hey, I’m not a reseller, you know; I’m the producer.”

Me: “So!??”

Ok, I didn’t say that but wanted to. Yes, he’s the producer but he’s still selling it.

This, of course, made no sense anyway since he knew very well that Americans cannot take much wine back to the U.S. And because our friends just brought carry-on luggage, they wouldn’t be able to take any bottles at all with them. He began to annoy me with his greed. Still, we decided to buy ONE case (6 bottles): all the wines we sampled, including a gold medal awarded wine from 1999.

Things were rolling along and we paid our 104 euros ($159) for the six bottles until the vintner began filling the box with our order. He made sure we saw what he put in the case, then says, “and lastly, here’s the 1998 bottle.”

My sweetie says LOUDLY, “we bought the 1999 bottle, you know, the one that costs 26 euros (about $40). Not 1998.”

The guy tried to rip us off!

Anyway, I found that to be so rude, greedy and annoying, but ultimately pathetic. I mean, I could be recommending his little “domaine” right now but instead I simply can not.

How many Americans did he trick?

That just isn’t right.

As an expat in France, I don’t get to vote in the municipal elections today but my sweetie does and so I was trying to figure out how it works here. It became very, VERY clear that it’s nothing like in the U.S. Firstly, our little city hall has an “aperitif” room where you can have a drink and eat some cake before or after voting. Later in the day they serve wine.

Me: So who’s running for mayor?

Him: Same guy.

Me: Anyone else?

Him: Well, not really. You know, the list.

Me: What list? What do you mean not really?

Him: He could get scratched off the list.

Me: What!? People can just scratch him off the list and he’s out?

Him: Yeah, well if more than 50% of the voters cross him out.

Me: You mean cross his name out…with a pen?

Him: Yes.

Me: But. Oh. Weird. And what about the list?

Him: Since we live in a tiny village, there’s only one list. We’re lucky anyone wants to run for anything. But in larger places, there would be many lists. For example, each list representing a political party. You’re in fact voting for a list of people: The mayor and his municipal counsel.

Me: Soooo. Our village has only one list. That just means they are sure to win. No other lists means no other candidates. Are the people on the list from one party?

Him: No. But only because the village is so small.

Me: Ok, this is strange. So, who’s on the list?

Him: The guy who wants to be re-elected mayor and all his friends.

Me: His friends? Why are his friends on the list?

Him: They want to be part of the municipal counsel.

Me: What if you don’t want some people to be on the counsel?

Him: You cross out their name. And if you want someone else to be on the counsel, after you cross out a name, you can add someone’s name on the list. Same with the person running for mayor. He would be at the top of the list.

Me: What?! You mean you can cross out the name of the guy running for mayor and put ANYONE else’s name???

Him: Sure, and also with counsel candidates.

Me: Ok, so, in fact, someone who isn’t running for mayor, can actually be elected mayor.

Him: Yes. But more than 50% of the voters have to write in his name.

Me: What if that person gets elected mayor and never wanted to be mayor?

Him: He’s mayor. I guess he’d have to resign and the rest of the list would come up with a mayor.

Me: That is so kooky.

More Franco-American Conversations

From AFP:

A letter of love sent by a French 13-year-old to her late mother, addressed to “Paradise Street, Heaven,” was returned to sender with a postage fine slapped on, a report said Thursday.

On the second anniversary of her mother’s death the young girl from central France, named as Anais, wanted to send her a “message of love, like a bottle in the ocean,” according to the Journal de Saone-et-Loire newspaper.

But two days after she slipped it into a local postbox, marked with her mother’s name but no stamp, her missive was returned as a mistaken address — along with a 1.35 euro (two-dollar) fine for unpaid postage.

Asked to explain the mishap, the French post office said there really was a town in the area called Heaven — “Ciel” in French — but that the street was unknown.

From Reuters:

“The mayor of a village in southwest France has threatened residents with severe punishment if they die, because there is no room left in the overcrowded cemetery to bury them.

In an ordinance posted in the council offices, Mayor Gerard Lalanne told the 260 residents of the village of Sarpourenx that “all persons not having a plot in the cemetery and wishing to be buried in Sarpourenx are forbidden from dying in the parish.”

It added: “Offenders will be severely punished.”

The mayor said he was forced to take drastic action after an administrative court in the nearby town of Pau ruled in January that the acquisition of adjoining private land to extend the cemetery would not be justified.

Lalanne, who celebrated his 70th birthday on Wednesday and is standing for election to a seventh term in this month’s local elections, said he was sorry that there had not been a positive outcome to the dilemma.

“It may be a laughing matter for some, but not for me,” he said.

(Reporting by Claude Canellas, Writing by Andrew Dobbie; editing by Sami Aboudi)

From Timesonline:

“Mark Boyle was a man with a dream. He was so convinced that a world without the evils of money is possible that he set out to walk from Britain to India without spending a penny in order to prove it.

But Mr Boyle, who hoped to reach Gandhi’s birthplace within two-and-a-half years, had reckoned without one sizeable stumbling block: the French.

Specifically…”

More

Usually in the news, they say that the euro has risen to a record high, but I see it more like this: the dollar has plummeted to a record low, it’s never been this low. Ever. It’s like the peso! This means one euro equals $1.52, and that means one dollar equals about 66 (euro) cents. Ouch.

Needless to say, it’s probably not the best time to come to France with those pathetically wimpy dollars. [photo: Joel Saget]

Already blazing throughout the internet, here’s a video of Sarkozy greeting people at the Agriculture Salon in Paris where he meets a man who doesn’t want to shake his hand. It makes us laugh so hard.

Man: Ah non, touche moi pas / oh no, don’t touch me.

Sarko: Casse-toi alors / Then get lost.

Man: Tu me salis / You’ll get me dirty (You disgust me).

Sarko: Casse-toi alors pauvre con / Then get lost, dumb ass.

Watch the video

From news.com.au:

“FRENCH President Nicolas Sarkozy said he wants to see French cuisine listed as a world heritage item by the United Nations.

“Agriculture and the jobs which produce it every day are the source of our country’s gastronomic diversity. It is an essential element of our heritage,” Mr Sarkozy said at the opening of France’s huge annual agriculture show in Paris.

“That is why I want France to be the first country to apply to UNESCO for our gastronomic tradition to be recognised as a world heritage,” Mr Sarkozy said.

“We have the best gastronomy in the world,” he said.”

[source]